Roll Over Red Rover

So the greatest thing in my life happened last night. I know, you must be thinking that I won the lottery, or was given a huge prize, or something super cool that most other people would prefer. I had been waiting and cheering Levi on for days. All of the other babies in our Mommy and Me class seem to be rolling over and for weeks! My niece, the one who is seven weeks younger has been doing it for days. Why couldn't my son? I had always told myself that I would practice what I preach (so much easier said than done.) I tell parents all the time that their child will achieve that MILESTONE when they are ready, not when we are.

Well, last night after a day of coaxing, turning him over myself, and helping him roll downhill on the couch, it happened. We went to my mom's house for dinner. I figured I would put him on his tummy for a bit before dinner. Before long he had gotten himself on his side. I got so excited that I started stuffing burp clothes to his left because if he WERE to roll over he would smack his head. Then the cheering began...."come on, come on." He would start to push himself off then fall right back down. Then the big moment. He did it. He got all the way over. We cheered so loudly that I think we may have scared the living daylights out of him.

That was truly the most exciting thing that has happened in recent history. Now I have to wait for it to happen again so that I can be reassured that it wasn't a mistake.

A Blur

The first few months of having Tater at home are kind of a blur. Maybe that is because of the pain medicine or quite possibly the immense transition into taking care of someone other than myself. What a treat to find out what it is like to love someone so much. I have to admit I was quite the skeptic when being told that you will never love something so much as your own child. Boy was I wrong. Now I get why my mom always worried so much about my sister and me. Words can't describe the love I have for this little boy.

Needless to say the first bit was full of fascinating, fun, and overwhelming experiences. Should I laugh at the fact that the dog peed on the floor right at the changing table when we got home from the hospital? Was it strategy, lucky, or just the fact that I couldn't get up the stairs that it took three weeks for me to change a diaper (don't worry I have done my fair share now.)

I will tell you that I have had some of the most amazing moments like getting Levi to crack up (the kind where you can't catch your breath,) watching him smile as I sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider," seeing him start to hold his head up on his own, the first night of sleeping without waking, even if it was short lived. And these don't even scratch the surface. I can only wonder what the rest of his life will bring.

Life Started Here

Well, all those people turned out to be right. It had only been a few hours until I realized this was the most wonderful experience of my life. I couldn't get enough of the little guy. Everything about him was so cute. His hair, little birthmark, cry, everything.

After a few hours it was time to settle into my "permanent" room. The nurses lifted me into bed for the night (since I had zero function of my lower body.) Freakiest experience was trying to move my toes and watching intently as NOTHING happened. That first night I was in so much pain that it was hard to hold him. All I could do was look at him. Even though Levi slept virtually all night I kept wanting to check to see if he was breathing and moving. How can anyone sleep with such an amazing creature lying in a little plastic box next to them. Is this on purpose. Seriously, the last night I had a chance to get a good night sleep was ruined with excitement. I loved when it was time to feed him. Judson would come and hand him to me so that I could try to breastfeed. I thought I was so successful after having him latch on for a few minutes. Come to find out that he really wasn't eating enough. A few more days of practice took care of that. I was so lucky to have friends and family there to help me take an excruciating walk around the hospital floor, help me to the bathroom, bring me food, oh and change those dirty diapers. Our experience in the hospital was one I will never forget. Had I had the choice I think I would have stayed forever!

Our goodbye gift from the nurse was one last bath before we were on our own. What will life be like with our new little family? Only time will tell.

Alice in Wonderland

As I slept through my c-section I had the craziest dream. I was a character in Alice in Wonderland. So funny I would dream about that since I have never seen it or read the story. Just been on the ride at Disneyland. I went from one brightly colored room to the next, finally ending up in a bright red room where there was a really loud and crying baby. I KNOW that was Levi being born, right, don't you think? As the story goes I was starting to wake up as they were patching my stomach back together. I kept asking if I had a baby and if he had hair. Yes to both! My husband brought over our new son and I looked at him. I have a very vague memory of seeing him for the first time while on the operating table but nothing ever really registered. I then found myself truly gaining conciousness in the recovery room where I continued to ask the same questions.

My first memory is looking over and seeing my sister holding my baby. "I want to see him. I haven't seen my baby." So, of course she brought him over...but wouldn't let me hold him. Not 'cause she is mean but because the doctors said I couldn't hold him until I was a little more awake. My baby got passed around the room and all I could do was watch.

And then the time came. I got to hold my baby for the first time. They put him on my tummy and you will never guess what happened next....he peed all over me. Welcome to the world Levi.

The time has come

After a sleepless night it was time to head to the hospital. We dragged every suitcase we had in the house because who really knows how to pack to have a baby? We got to the hospital where the very cheery nurse showed me where to settle in. I changed into the GORGEOUS gown and got in bed. A few pricks here and there and the contractions were coming. Pretty soon I found myself bouncing on an exercise ball. Funny, that the only real use I have gotten out of that ball is during labor! Nothing seemed to work and before I knew it the doctor was telling me that I was making NO progress. What on earth does he mean by that? I can FEEL the progress. Now it was decision time. To have a c-section or not to have a c-section? Why would someone choose to have surgery, for a cuter baby? After much agonizing I made an awful decision. I was given a gem of a drug to help move things along before starting the whole process over again in the morning. I lay in bed all night feeling contractions, and an earthquake, waiting for something to happen knowing full well that this was my last chance for a "natural with drugs" birth. If it didn't work I was going to be in surgery by nighttime.

By 8:00 I was in excruciating pain. By 11:00 I had my epidural and by noon I was told it was a no go. Damn here comes the c-section.

The nurse eventually rolled me into the operating room ALL BY MYSELF! The chill in the room was immeasurable. I lay on the operating table waiting and getting increasingly nervous. My baby was almost here. You know, the one that has been kicking every organ, bone, and nerve in my stomach. The one who helped me to gain 46 pounds and make me look like an alien because I was so swollen. Soon I was shaking. Not the kind of shakes when you are cold. No, those would have been pleasant. These were the kind that make you think something is really wrong. "ddddddoctor, why, why, why can't I stop, stop, stop shaking?" Oh, its the drugs.

The anesthesiologist arrived and explained the procedure. "I'm going to put some medicine in the line I started for your epidural. I takes about ten minutes to work. Once everything kicks in we will start and your baby will be here." Ok, well maybe that is how it works with normal people but we all know that I am not a normal person. After ten minutes I could still feel them touching my stomach, after more drugs and another ten minutes I could still feel my stomach.

Now the question is, did it hurt? I don't really know the answer to that. I was so freaked out that I was going to feel them cutting my stomach open and then digging through my purse (well, at least that is what the nurse described the feeling as) that I kept telling them that it HURT. Needless to say the doctor turned to my husband told him he was putting me out and that was it!

I woke up an hour later in the recovery room as a mommy.

My Life is Over

Nine months of pregnancy behind me. Two bouts of bed rest and a very puffy body were all coming to an end, and quickly. The night before I went in to be induced I had a complete panic attack. My life was going to be over. How will I come home from work and nap or just lie on the couch to watch t.v. Will I be able to run to the mall to get something or even go to family dinners or get a manicure? Each person I told kept saying that life will be different ...but a better different. Yeah right!